Settlement in Shanghai

Hi people, Tian Xin has finally arrived in Shanghai safely, meaning my "final exam" has ended at the moment mom left me this morning 8.30am.

Yup! It was expected!

Nagging, scolding, etc..

And, for me, FED UP -> BLURRED! @_@

I'm really fed up with the changing plans because of mom.

Fed up because the plans were the ones I proposed earlier but disapproved by her.

And, when we arrived in China, all the plans were carried out as she liked, just like what I proposed to her before!

FINE!

1st day in Shanghai, we visited Munchy's CEO, China Pavilion (Shanghai Expo), Shanghai Book City, Nanjing road...

The whole trip was by TAXI!!! -.-" Mom was accompanying me to settle down but we took taxi everywhere.How could I recognize the road? sigh..If it's Zhi, he'd surely accompany me to take bus everywhere so that I know the way! Following Mom is like travelling. This is not a real settlement!

Whatever, God bless me

Now, I'm being left alone to stay with the Shanghai family.

The Shanghai family is very ke qi. I guess Xia Xiang theories can be applied here very well.

They don't even let me to wash fruit plate!!! -.-" They keep on asking me nvr be ke qi. But, Tianxin's nvr keqi. I'm treating myself as at home, doing the house chores but they don't allow. -.-" Sigh..

wish everything goes smoothly soon!

Stressful "final paper"! (preparation to 2nd Journey to China)

Left 3 hours and I'll start a new life~

I wish it's a good beginning!

But, my feeling now is afraid, not excited.

The feeling is like sitting for final exam.

I'm feeling stressful now! I don't know why!

I guess it's because of MOM!

She's like the marker of the paper.

I'm like the student.

I need to do my "revision" by checking the details, like transport.

I need to prepare for the "essay" (planning for the whole trip to settlement in Shanghai).

As usual, I've no feeling until the last few hours, trying to ensure I miss nothing.

If mom nags, I fail.

I'm so scareddddd...

But, I should correct my attitude to previous time.

"When you've put your best, then you leave no regrets"

So, I've triple checked so many times. It should be ok!

"Die means die la!"

Sad Valentine

It's really a sad valentine that really makes me emo for whole day but it's nothing related to love relationship. Tian Xin has no feeling towards any love relationship. Perhaps, I've fell in love to STACT this time just like I fell in love to SF1 that time. To reduce such strong missing feeling, I made myself busy by being active in club activities. Yeah~ I made it after half year joining STACT. Now, I guess I need Pivot's job to reduce same feeling towards STACT. I really miss STACT so much!

It has been exactly 2years since I really started my "clubbing" life. I met Waihong,Kiet,Jack,Reegent, Sherine, Yatlei, CK, etc. 2 years and 1 day ago (Valentine's eve,2009). Today, pictures were flashing in my mind. OMG! It's making me even sadder. Even worse, I was alone at mom's office, doing boring work. The feeling is so strong today towards every single friend that I have made thru STACT. Sometimes, I even doubt myself whether I'm able to keep myself out of STACT clubbing life when I'm back to INTI later.

10 more days left in Malaysia and I'll start my busy life at Pivot soon,hopefully. God bless me!

Happy Valentine, everyone, especially Pris & Chyn woei!

had a nice chat w chen, my babysitter! =)

Non-stop Revision= lifelong mastering

Stupid TianXin!

She always stops her revision after exam.

She always scolds herself for mastering nothing.

She always blames it's because of her poor memory.

She envies people who can apply knowledge practically.

She feels guilty, sad, worried, disappointed, afraid, regretful, etc.

But, she does nothing!

Today, when she woke up, something just knocked into her mind!

She asked herself,"What do I don't know? What can I do?"

She recalled back that she used to plan her holiday nicely with learning of vocabs, at least.

But, after joining STACT, she didn't do that anymore because STACT had occupied her holiday.

She suddenly forgot what can she do during holiday.

No exam revisions needed, no study revision, no reports, no gatherings...

But, there's a need for lifelong learning.

She listed down what knowledge she has forgotten but important.

And, she prepares to do KNOWLEDGE REVISION...

She'll study back all the notes for econs, marketing....

Happy CNY! ;)

F.E.A.R..

This is the 3rd week I get back to Malaysia. Counting down to 22 days to go back China alone again..OMG! I don't feel any excitement now when I think of staying with the Shanghai family alone, travelling to and fro alone, .... I'm afraid..

Tian xin will become afraid also. What I'm afraid is I might not be able to have any achievement during the internship. I'm afraid history will repeat and at the end, it's a waste. So negative now.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm losing myself. I don't know who I am, especially during this retirement period, waiting period, ..No clubmates, no classmates..Mom keeps on nagging. I'm really blurred all the time. I don't know what can I do.

=(

没有期待是那么的恐怖！

Back to M'sia...

Finally~ I'm back to M'sia, my HOME!

But, after I got the news that Weiling couldn't make it for the internship, I got disappointed and not tht excited to come back M'sia. =( When I missed M'sia badly,I always imagined that I'd be jumping here and there around my room like a kid excitedly. I loved the SUN so much...But, but,...everything is out of my expectation now...

Unhappy things start after Hong and me got out of the gate. I wish I could stay back.

Mom scolded me all the way back because of the delay and my plan to Kajang. =( I just planned to take my key and didn't want to trouble her. I know she would leave NO TIME for me also. So, instead of staying at home, I could actually take my key, meet with them and enjoyed my room!

She always scolds me for giving away my time to others. I also feel guilty and yesterday I thought of the reason why I always reserve time to others. Nah..I got it! It's because everyone has plans for me and I arrange my time for them. But, mom never leaves time for me. If she does say she will wish to have me with her, I'm sure I'll arrange my time for her also!

ok..back to topic...

Now, I'm in M'sia.

Hot, noisy, dirty, dangerous, ....I would say!

I'm not that excited to meet up STACT people anymore! What a sad case! Perhaps, it's because I don't know them anymore.Everything has changed! Kiet, Chen, QQ, and King have gone! My clubbing task has gone! I've no class at INTI!

LOST!

This is my feeling now. But, I know it's actually not that serious yet I'm no longer that excited anymore for meet-ups because things have changed..

Hong said,"China is fun!" Yea..I also agree, at this moment..

Last few hrs...a complete fullstop

Now is 3.01am, 19th Jan 11..4 more hrs and I have to depart from Suzhou. Here is a short summary of my DAYS in China.

Study life

Enrolled 2 subjects. E-business lecturer speaks like Jay Chow. International lecturer has taught us something out of textbook, meaning exam is never from textbook too @_@.

Classmates are nice. Groupmates are...PRO!why? because 3 weeks before submission they only started to discuss abt assignment; 1 night before submission only told me the whole assignment needed to be reorganized even though I'd compiled and sent her 1 week ago..@_@...

Clubbing life

Joined 2 clubs, Student Career Development Association (SCDA) & Green Society. SCDA, disappointed with its system yet I'm kinda glad to know some of them. I felt demotivated after few tasks because of the system and leaders. I was offered to go Shanghai due to my good results of my 2nd task. Green Society, I had only 1 activity -.-" I thought I would be active soon and paid RMB 10. But, still, here is China..中国什么都不多，就是人多。

Friends known in China

Although I'm not always in a group gang, I have different "varieties" of friends. I've yr1 to yr 4 friends; I have lecturers as friends; I have friends from neighbor university. My closest friend and best meal partner, Carissa. My best local friend, Chen Huan. Best helper, Mengfan. Best computer technician, Xiongwei. Lovely buddy, Wangwei. My funny and cute housemates, the 4 girls. My M'sian supporters, Mr.Ng and his wife who cooked dinner for me and helped me whenever I need help. My uni's M'sian lecturer who stays at Sri Petaling also.

Besides these, I also got to know others who can hardly believe. haha..I know Weiling, a Singaporean friend who supposedly would come to Shanghai for the intern and be my roommate. Joel, Pivot intern. Lawrence, previous intern known from fb. Leo, my "big brother" in Shanghai, also my landlord.

Geng bu geng? ^.^ not deep yet wide..

Living

Food: Rice, rice ,rice...flour, flour, flour...oil, oil, oil...Addicted, Hated, Liked..

Stay: Hotel-> a HOUSE ( I thought we'd be staying like a family but...nope)But, it's kinda nice to stay with them too. We had a farewell steamboat(hahaha..see tianxin, see steamboat ;P) and chatted a lot..APARTMENT's SECRET..shh.. ;)

Most memorable moment: 4D3N Christmas in Nanjing and Changzhou.

Favorite food: Kebab rice and Korean's beef rice

Bye~

My brother's blog...

Whenever I need something refreshing, I will visit my brother's blog because you can find something inspiring and also shocking. Today, again, I need something shocking to "hit" my mind after studying for hours but only 1 chapter for my final exam.

here...I would like to share..

所有人问所有人

东方红问蔡康永：我们小学没有开设英语课，但我却学会了第一句英语，那就是FUCK YOU，周围的小伙子都乐此不疲，用这个骂人，乐不可支。请问蔡老师，为什么各类语言中，往往脏话比较容易传播？

蔡康永答东方红：1、穿衣服啦，讲道理啦，都是人类自己搞出来的花样。如果情况允许的话，人类应该很乐意像狗一样，每天光屁股加汪汪叫就好了。脏话，就是很不伤脑筋的吠叫啊。2、你学的第一句以“F”字母开头，这很正确，因为这个词就是生命的起源啊。
《独唱团》

不開心

在FB看到某人的status寫著：

“你有什麼不開心的事, 說出來讓大家開心一下 XD”

真欠揍，可是又很好笑，呵呵...

補：即使是大痛大悲，也可以拿來開玩笑。傷心只是暫時性的，不會是永遠的...

志愿者。。。

看完了《志愿者》，听完了《放飞》，

唤醒了一种很熟悉的感觉.

我曾经很简单地拥有了那种感觉。

那种看到大家因为自己而微笑的感觉。

就是这种感觉，

我希望成为一位志愿者，

在大家的脸上挂上微笑。

也因为这种感觉，

让我有了成长和一团家庭般的朋友。

可是，志愿者的精神还在吗？

慢慢地，感觉变淡了。。。

参加社团的目的再也不像当志愿者的目的;

继续的目的是为了学习和成长;

到最后，是为了团队精神所带来的感动;

结束，是因为那简单的感觉,

当志愿者的感觉，消失了。

十九届,到了二十一届，

还存在着志愿者的简单理想吗？

用我生命七十分之一

营造一个奇迹

用你轻狂的羽翼

翱翔在这天地 -“放飞”，《志愿者》主题曲

*本篇是第二篇，第一篇没存档，不在了，再写，也不一样了。。。

Listening to your heart...

Today, I got an e-mail reply showing me a great opportunity to have internship at a multinational company. It's a French based event company in Shanghai which has branches in China and U.S. as well.

It's really hard to capture the best, especially there are many opportunities provided! sometimes you're allowed to be greedy, sometimes not. In my case,I think I'm allowed. The question now is:"Is it necessary for me to be greedy?" What I meant as necessary is whether it's necessary to burden my parents for this opportunity. The allowance offered is RMB 1000 but accommodation in Shanghai for a sharing bedroom is ard RMB 1000. I've always let go opportunities because I don't want my parents waste much on me. (lack of confidence) But, I'm really thankful to have a mom who always pushes me to the opportunities.

Now, I think and consider again what if I'm offered with more allowance than the Singaporean company? Everyone will ask me to go for sure. But, listening to my heart, will I be as happy and excited working at the large French company with so many branches abroad as working at the small Singaporean company which has no branch? NO! the answer is a NO!

I suddenly realize that now, I will listen to my heart to decide what is good to me and what pathway do I want. =)

My personal consultants who I always take their advices, QQ and Kiet, strongly recommended me to kill one bird with two stones, sharpening skills at the Singaporean company and exploring the system and culture of a large multinational company! But, finally, I chose not to be greedy, but just to be myself!

"What do you want?" is a question you need to ask yourself time to time. Listening to your heart sometimes is better than listening to the world...

Lastly, a quote inspired by QQ to be share:

Life is full of cycles.There's always a beginning and an ending.You always need to face the reality that you're starting from the bottom. But, keep in mind, "It's not a matter how low is your post but it's a matter how fast you can climb to the top"

Taobao...online shopping..in China!

Taobao 淘宝..

Living in China, you need to know about Taobao, the place where the Chinese shop virtually. This is one of the interview questions when I applied for internship in Shanghai. But, usually, I visit Taobao for free movies only. The things in Taobao are really attractive and most importantly, they are really cheap!!! But, I still feel unsecured to shop online.

Yesterday, I was introducing CK yi fu this website of search for his tripod, planning to buy him as a gift to replace the STACT memories I "deleted" by losing his harddisk. =(

Because of him, I registered for a Taobao account, my first online shopping account!

I think I'll rely on taobao when I get used to it. Haha..this is the new era, and even Tianxin will change.

Shopping in China, you need 2 quotes and find a balance between these 2 quotes.

"Never try, never know"- Tian Xin

"Price never lies"- Carissa, my Indonesian friend.

Production cost in China is cheap so, reasonably, the products are cheap.

But, China...CAREFUL!!! =)

Again, got attracted with sporty things like sports shoes, bagpacks...

Recently, I found that such bag really exist, 3 in 1(3 types of carrying style): carry like bagpack,sling bag, and handbag! cool man! And, I bought one at RMB70.

I got attracted with one at Taobao! I'm sure Zhi will love it as well! I also love it!!! Sibling bag?? haha..

cool man! this is 4 in 1!

3.1.11

My new year resolution: keep everything short & simple! =P

Again, again, and again till you make it!

Summary of Year 2010, regrets?...

Today is 1.1.11. Happy New Year!

It's another year again! Now let's rewind my life back to the year 2010..Happiness, disappointments, sadness, stupidness, and more I had in year 2010...Not to forget failures and proud moments I had, in M'sia, not China...

To have this post showing my milestone is an inspiration from my brother's blog. It's good to spend some time sitting calmly and refreshing back what have you gone through for the whole year. Here is the pathway that I've gone through in last year, divided into 3 different semesters:

1. January- April: my Philo sem when I start to have this nickname- Philo Lee (actually named by myself ^.^)

I experienced a very different kind of teaching style from Mr. Eric.

I was full with passion in swallowing the textbook and burning midnight oils to make my assignments perfect!

While everyone was advising me to stop spending time in my video production, I did not! And, at the end, we got the highest marks! =) Proud 1~ proud of my passion, not marks..

I got scolded by Ms. Lim in front of the whole class harshly because of my "special" answer for the question "Are we the prisoners of the culture?" Everyone was answering YES while I gave a NO.

I did not feel sad, in contrast, I worked hard to improve myself. And, at the end of the semester, I got praise from Ms. Lim for improving a lot! Proud 2

But, there were also sadness and disappointments.

Due to the side effect of Philosophy and my roles in STACT Club as Vice Chair and Program Coordinator, I questioned a lot and caused many people to be pissed off! Trying to be a thinker like Plato huh, Tian Xin? It all came to an end when my brother told me," It's good to ask but before asking, ask why do you ask the question?" SORRY GUYS! Failure 1

And, my grandma left us...

2. April - Aug: Peak of my life?

I had many of my first times in my life which I never thought of it before.

I became the Internal VP of 21st Community Service because Jack insisted to have the 21st CS!

I took over the role as a Discipline Master and failed badly in playing it nicely! 3A- Action, Attitude, Appearance -.-" Thinking back now, I feel funny!

I acted as counselor of the juniors in encouraging them to take challenges. haha..(a junior even said I'm her idol)

I cried in front of my clubmates for first time, the night before starting the adventure of 21st CS.

I gave a speech during the camp closing ceremony.

I scolded people for the real first time, not because of my frustration, I swear!

I became numb on feelings, comforting others in facing stress! -.-"

I got hated by people! (but, all misunderstandings were clear by themselves after everything came to an end.It was just an emotion)

I did influence on people. ^.^

My sharing got appreciated. =)

So, at the end, I actually want to thank Jack for insisting it!

My favorite quote of the sem:

The greatest achievement is to stand up from failure. -Jing Si Aphorism-
Life sometimes might knock you down, but it's your choice to decide whether to get back up. -Karate Kid-
It's ok to fall down sometimes as long as we rmb to stand up again..this is what I call SUCCESS! -Tian Xin-

21st CS BIG FAMILY!

Really a spiritual semester! THANKS, PEOPLE!

TRIPSSS =)

I had the most enjoying trip in my life ever with them! Perhaps it was because of not sleeping the day before to rush work with mom. Played crazily! Wee~~

the crazy trip to Sungkai in Perak- the hot spring

As many were leaving, Ah chen & King to UK, QQ and Kiet to US, and me to China, we had a few trips.

First is known as the short sem trip. (Movie at Sunway Pyramid, Games at Cassian Kitchen, Pasar Malam at Connaught, visiting Lookup point, conquering Broga Hill, and lastly having dim sum as breakfast at Connaught)

reaching peak of broga hill with just a mini torchlight and a GPS to get our route in the midnight. hahaXD

My fav dim sum shop..5 plates of fishballs..Mei Wen Ti! =P

Second- just back from 21st CS and to Bukit Merah for waterpark..I guess 3 days before departing to China..Mom was gonna KILL me XD

3. Sept - Dec: Journey in China

A rush prepare to start my 4 months' journey in China. I didn't event get a chance to calm myself down to think and prepare for this trip. But, I couldn't say it's wasted. I would just say I did not do my best here!

I joined clubs: Green Society and Student Career Development Association. But, I was kinda disappointed on the system and the people.SO SAD..Sigh

I thought I could mix with my Indonesian housemates. But, nope. We have age gap!!! -.-" haha..actually, it should be communication gap. But, I'm glad to stay with them also. =)

My classmates? Nope..I even got frustrated in their attitude of doing assignments!

I got a close, really close friend! It was really surprising because we were from different university. Our first meet was at Jinji Lake when the seniors brought the juniors for a visit at Jinji Lake.

Still, my male friends are more than female friends. -.-" Whenever I got gifts from them, the little girls would think much! I just got a birthday gift and 2 Christmas gifts. that's all!

I SLACKED ON my life! But, I also GOT A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE in life!

I MISSED my family, STACT Club, friendss..missing badly!

I felt SORRY to mom for not utilizing this opportunity well! But, I realize this guilty feeling will only worsen my remaining days here. So, I stopped!

I started to get excited with photography! haha..

I got an INTERNSHIP in Shanghai because of my corrected attitude! >=) I have finally chosen a route I want!

I had a few trips in China

1. Shanghai Expo with Kai Jia & Meng Fan

2. Han San Shi & Hu Qiu with Zheng Yi

3. Xi Tang by myself

4. Nanjing and Changzhou with Chen Huan

I experienced the FIRST SNOW and became sick! I dared not to take any risks of getting sick anymore and so I cancelled my Christmas trip to Nanjing. But, at the end, I was enlightened! haha.."Life is full of risks. So, why should we be afraid of taking risks?" And, I enjoyed my trip at Nanjing! A memorable Christmas trip, visiting universities in Nanjing, travelling tourist spots by myself, visiting Fu Zi Miao, sleeping at McD on Christmas eve, having Christmas dinners, and laughing at the jokes by his relatives on Christmas Day at KTV~

Since I got "enlightened", my days are exciting everyday, maybe because I'm going back to M'sia too!

My new year eve was special as well with so many sudden plans!

11am: I got a phone call to attend a BBQ party with my club

4pm: I went to Carissa's house for Tomyam "steamboat"

7pm: We went to Times Square out of sudden! Visited Secret Recipe and recalled that it's actually a M'sian restaurant! Taken a lot of photos! haha..

10pm: We went back and watched 3 Idiots from year 2010 to 2011! haha!

1st activity on New yr eve with my clubmates!

Tomyam meal! =P My closest friend here. =)

Then, it came to the end of year 2010! Regrets? Yup, perhaps! But, let's make a better year in 2011!

I'm really excited with my future days!

As Tian Xin always says," Every end is followed with a new beginning!"

Wishing all my friends sincerely to have an inspiring year ahead! =)

HAPPY 2011 YEAR!